


This is not what I signed up for!

by FamineArcher



Category: One Piece
Genre: Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Boats and Ships, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, General Chaos, Irish Myths, Male-Female Friendship, Mayhem of the Straw Hat variety, Pirates and Plunder, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, This gon be gud, Warning: Skinless human, friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29109948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FamineArcher/pseuds/FamineArcher
Summary: Waking up on a deserted island? Check. Waking up in ONE PIECE, which I'd never read/watched? Check. This is going to be FUN.
Relationships: Original Female Character(s) & Monkey D. Luffy, Original Female Character(s) & Nami, Original Female Character(s) & Roronoa Zoro, Original Female Character(s) & Usopp, Original Female Character(s) & Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

I woke up with my head on a log. Ow. Not fun. I sat up and looked around. Tall trees, a babbling brook, and a berry bush greeted my eyes. This wasn’t my room.

“...what the fuck?” I muttered. I looked down at myself. Comfy sweatpants with pockets, check. Favorite navy blue turtleneck that was a little too big for me, check. Magic: the Gathering Jace jacket, check. Hiking boots and thick socks, check. Black scarf, check. That was not what I went to sleep in, but it was all my favorite clothes.

I looked around again. The bush full of what looked like blackberries caught my eye, and my stomach growled. I plucked a handful off the bush, braced myself, and tossed them into my mouth.

Jesus! I didn’t remember blackberries tasting THAT bad! I chewed and swallowed anyway. No sense wasting food. So I had food and water. That was the good part.

The bad part was what I saw through the trees. Water. I was on the coast.

I followed the beach for a while, then sat down on a piece of driftwood. Had I been marooned on an island? Figures.

I set up a makeshift lean-to with palm branches and driftwood. Might as well prep for the worst.

Dinner was blackberries and water. I hated blackberries, but they tasted better this time.

I was stuck on that island for three more days. Three days of nothing but fruit I hated and water I didn’t know the quality of. Three days of isolation.

Then the Marines arrived.

I saw the ship cruising towards me and ran to the beach, hoping whoever it was would take me with them.

Men in white uniforms and...baseball caps? rolled out barrels and headed into the forest.

I watched them go, figuring they were stocking up on water.

Then a person approached me. She wore a long white coat and a baseball cap that said “Marine” on it. Her hair was bright red, like RED, not orange-red. Her eyes were brown, but glimmered with something I couldn’t recognize. All this I categorized in the back of my mind. Most of me was too focussed on her lower half.

Because she had goat legs. Let me repeat that.  _ Goat legs _ . Like a fucking satyr.

She grinned at me. “What, never seen a Zoan Devil Fruit in action?”

Most of me gibbered. I was in  _ One Piece _ . A series I knew only the barest of bare-bones information about.

I managed to collect myself. “...no, I haven’t.” Now I was looking, I could see horns poking out of her hair and curling off to the sides.

“I ate the Goat-Goat Fruit, Model: Ibex.” She explained. I knew, vaguely, how Devil Fruits worked, so that explained that.

“I see.”

“I assume you’ve been stuck on this island, huh? How’d you get here?”

“I have no Idea.” I said honestly. “I was at home when I went to bed.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m Lieutenant Richards Camellia.” Her hand was outstretched.

Right, surnames first. “Gilson Finn.” I shook her hand.

“You know, if you want, we could take you to our next stop and let you off there.”

“Well, I don’t have shit in the way of money, so that won’t help much.” I said without thinking.

She grimaced. “Do you have any marketable skills?”

“Uh, well I can read, write, do math, let’s see...Oh! I can sew!”

Camellia grabbed my shoulders. “You can SEW? I’m conscripting you right now! We have a surplus of ripped uniforms and no one to fix them!”

I nodded. “Um, sure? I’m not wearing that uniform, though, and only until the next major city.”

“Just wear the hat.”

“Deal.” I followed her onto the ship.

“And we’re putting you on the same workout routine as the rest.”

“Shit.”

It was hell, I’m not going to lie. The first few days especially had me crawling into my bunk almost passed out. But after the second week, it got easier.

On the third week, something new happened. One of the Marines, I don’t know his name, brought a pair of cuffs with him when he returned from shore leave. “We got some Sea Prism Stone cuffs!” He tossed them to me and I caught them reflexively.

I staggered. “Uugh.” It felt like I’d caught the flu, had a bad depression day, and been punched in the gut at the same time.

Camellia snatched them from me, grimacing, and put them down. “You ate a Devil Fruit?”

“Not as far as I know.” I shook my whole body like a horse with fleas.

“Has anything you’ve eaten recently tasted godawful?”

“God DAMN it it was those blackberries!” I buried my head in my hands. “I KNEW they shouldn’t have tasted that bad.”

“So you accidentally ate a Devil Fruit. Wonder which one?”

“I think I’d have noticed being a Logia.” I muttered, head still in my hands.

She nodded. “I can teach you how to transform if you’re a Zoan.”

“How?”

“Focus on...on your core. Imagine it growing and enveloping the rest of you.” She explained.

I focused, and felt my body shift. Gasps greeted me as my field of vision split into two distinct viewpoints, and somehow I was taller.

“Okay, so...what do I look like?” I questioned.

“Well, you don’t have skin.” Camellia began.

“And I’m assuming the extra weight on my head is horns?”

“Bingo. You sorta look like a skinless centaur with a horse head and a person head.”

“Mother _ fucker _ .” I slapped a skinless palm to my face. “I’m a fucking  _ nuckelavee _ !”

“A what?”

“Old mythical sea creature that spreads sickness and kills crops.” I returned to my normal form.

“So, a Mythic Zoan.” She crossed her goat-legs. “Petty Officer Finn, you got lucky.”

“I guess. Hey, someone get me a barrel of seawater. I have a theory.”

One of my fellow Marines rolled out a barrel.

“Out of curiosity, how deep would you need to go in order to start feeling its effects, Lieutenant Camellia?”

“Eh, up to my knees for it to really hit me.”

I took off my jacket, opened the barrel, and climbed in. It felt like the Sea Prism Stone, but less intense. Manageable.

“You suicidal-huh?”

I grinned. “The nuckelavee is a fucking  _ sea creature _ . This is uncomfortable as hell, but I think I feel it less than you! Not that I would do this for fun. Someone tip me over?”

Camellia kicked the barrel over with one hoof. “You are insanely lucky.”

“It still makes me weaker, and I think I might puke, but...I think I’d sink slower than you.”

“Yet Sea Prism Stone affects you like the rest of us. Interesting.”

I shrugged and shook water off of my head.

Over the next few weeks, I figured out more about my Devil Fruit. My hybrid form was a skinless, genderless human with horns. I hit harder like that, and when not human could breathe out a miasma that rendered people ill. I sent seven men to sickbay with different illnesses testing that. I had claws in my skinless and full forms, sharp black ones. Fangs as well, and my hair was gone. I developed a habit of walking around in my hybrid form, much like Camellia. I even figured out how to keep my clothes on while I did it.

And finally,  _ finally _ , we made it to Logue Town.


	2. Chapter 2

I waved goodbye to Camellia and wandered through the streets.

As I exited an embroidery store with a large bundle of embroidery floss, I was run over by a man carrying three swords and sporting green hair. I vaguely recognized him as Roronoa Zoro. I heard someone shrieking after him about swords and pirates.

I slapped on my Marine hat and grabbed him. “Play along.”

Someone, a woman with glasses and a sword, came barrelling down the street. She stopped, seemingly dumbfounded.

I mean, how often do you see a skinless person in a Marine hat snapping cuffs onto a renowned pirate hunter?

“Move along, Marine.” I said imperiously. “I have subdued the pirate and will be taking him to my superior.”

To her credit, she recovered remarkably fast. “Yes SIR!” She saluted and walked back the way she came.

I returned to normal and looked at Zoro. “Holy shit, she actually bought that.”

He snorted.

I whipped off my hat and stuffed it into my pack. “Hey, where you headed?”

“To my ship.”

“Mind if I come with? I’ve been looking for a vessel to get me out of here, and I can do chores to pay.”

“Why not stay with the Marines?” He asked as I headed towards the docks.

“Buddy, I like freedom. I was on a Marine ship for three. Fucking. Months. If you think I’m getting back on one, you’re crazy.”

Zoro snorted again. “Fair.”

We met up with his crew and piled onto their ship.

Nami noticed me first. “Zoro, who’s this?”

“Ah...what’s your name?”

“Gilson Finn.” I replied. “I bailed your swordsman out of a situation involving an angry woman.”

“Oi, quit making it sound suggestive!”

“But there were handcuffs involved and everything.” I grinned as rain pelted down my face.

“To clarify, she fake arrested me to get me away from a crazy Marine.” He said quickly. “She wanted to get out of Logue Town and said she’d do chores to pay her way.”

“Chores?”

“I can mend clothes.”

“Hey, wanna join my crew?” The straw-hatted boy chirped. “You can be our clothes-mender.”

“You know what, why the hell not?” I shook his hand.

The others introduced themselves.

Nami explained about the lighthouse to an interested Luffy as we sailed.

“So, what do you hope to get out of this little journey?” Zoro asked me.

“I want to prove to myself that I’m not useless.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

Sanji dragged a barrel onto the deck and slammed his foot onto it. “To find All Blue!”

Luffy next. “To become the Pirate King!”

Then Zoro. “To become the greatest swordsman.”

“To draw a map of the world!” Nami added.

“T-to become a brave warrior of the seas!” Usopp stuttered.

They looked at me.

“Fine. To grow beyond my limits!”

We slammed our feet into the barrel.

“TO THE GRAND LINE!”

I begged off of drinking, since I knew alcohol was a depressant and I had depression.

Luffy noticed the friendship bracelets around my wrists, twelve in total. “Ooh, those look cool!”

“I appreciate the compliment, Captain. I made them myself.”

“Can you make more?”

“Why, you want one?”

“Yeah! In gold and red!”

I grinned at him. “I have the materials. Does anyone else want one?”

“Oh, do you have orange and green?” Nami piped up.

“I do. Usopp, Sanji, Zoro?”

“Blue and black, please.” Usopp requested.

“Black and white for me, lovely Finn.” Sanji added.

And Zoro thought for a moment. “Silver and black.”

“Alright, can one of you write that down? I’ll get started as soon as I can.”

Nami scribbled it down under the awning so it wouldn’t get wet. I put down my pack as a wave washed over the deck.

Luffy fell over and I staggered. “Fuckin’ seawater…” I grumbled.

Luffy groaned agreement.

“Oh, my love, you have a Devil Fruit?” Sanji asked.

“Number one, NEVER call me that again. Treat me like Zoro or Usopp, since I’m physically and emotionally incapable of romantic or sexual attraction.”

He wilted.

“Number two, yeah. The Nuckelavee-Nuckelavee Fruit.”

“The fuck’s a nuckelavee?” Sanji asked.

“Think big skinless centaur with a horse and human head that lives in the sea and brings illness and blight.” I explained. “Seawater affects me less than your captain since the nuckelavee lives in the ocean, but it’s not like I can swim. I’m able to turn into a nuckelavee or into a skinless person with horns.”

“So you can fight.” Zoro extrapolated.

“I’ve never been in a fight before but I have three months of Marine training under a Lieutenant with her own Devil Fruit.” I pulled out my Marine hat. “This is how I bluffed Zoro out of trouble.”

Later, Nami slammed down a map onto the table. “The entrance to the Grand Line...is a mountain.”

“A MOUNTAIN?” Was the general outcry.

“I had a hard time believing it myself, but look at the map. The lighthouse was pointing directly here, at Reverse Mountain.”

I groaned. “Let me guess, we gotta sail up the damn thing.”

“That’s what the map says.”

“Nami-swan could never be wrong about this!” Sanji cooed.

I grabbed his ear and tugged. “Down, boy.”

“Didn’t you get that map from Buggy? How reliable could it be?”

“We’re gonna sail up a mystery mountain!” Luffy cheered.

“I hate to be the voice of reason…” I cut in. “But doesn’t that also mean we have to fall  _ down _ the other side?”

Zoro and Sanji went silent. Nami nodded. “Unfortunately, it seems so.”

“Can’t we just go south and enter that way?”

“No!” Luffy protested.

“He’s right, and there’s a reason for that.”

The storm went silent. “I’m getting the feeling silence is not golden?” I asked sardonically.

“And that is the reason. Get on the oars! Start rowing! We gotta get back to the storm!”

When your navigator says “go towards the storm” in that tone of voice, you shouldn’t question it. The boys did, but I ran belowdecks and began rowing like a woman possessed.

Apparently, we almost got eaten by a Sea King. The things you miss when you’re sensible.

Nami explained how the mountain worked, but I didn’t think too hard about it. I barely passed Geology, and only knew the basics of ocean currents.

I was too busy realizing that the others were all under twenty, making me the oldest current crew member by a year, at almost twenty-one. I  _ was _ the responsible adult. Shit.

We went up the mountain and came out on top. The view was...remarkable.

Giantwhaleholyfuck!

To recap: We were heading down Reverse Mountain, then a motherfucking giant whale appeared, Luffy shot it with a cannon, and then he punched it in the eye.

How is this my life? I did not sign up for this! I just wanted to go to college, get a job, and live a simple life, but nooo! I had to sign on with the most SUICIDAL idiot in any world ever!

“Captain,  _ why _ ?” I moaned as we were swallowed.

We ended up...somewhere. It appeared to have clear skies, but I was betting on an illusion of some kind.

“Giant Squid!” Usopp and Nami yelled.

Sanji and Zoro tensed, but the squid was harpooned before any of us moved a muscle.

The little hut on the island in the whale’s stomach, its door opened. A man with flower-like hair(?) dragged the squid to the shore of the little island.

He ignored Sanji’s yells for him to say something.

“I-If it’s a fight you want, we’ve g-got a cannon!” Usopp stuttered.

“Do that and someone will end up dead.” the old man said calmly.

Sanji sneered. “And who would that be?”

“Me.”

I facepalmed.

Zoro took his own shot. “Hey, would you mind telling us just who you are, and where this is?”

“It’s common courtesy to introduce yourself first, brat.”

“...oh, right, sorry. I’m-”

“My name is Crocus, the lighthouse keeper of Twin Capes. I’m seventy-one years old, a Gemini, and type AB blood.” The old man cut Zoro off.

Zoro snarled.

“Calm down, you did ask.” I pointed out. “I’m guessing he knows the whale or something.”

“If you wanna leave, the exit’s thataway.” Crocus pointed.

“There’s an exit in the sky!”

“That’s no sky.” I peered at it. Damn did I wish I had my glasses. “I think…”

“It’s painted!” Nami realized.

“That’s just my way of having a good time.” Crocus adjusted his newspaper.

The whole place shook. “Woah! What’s going on?!”

“This whale, he’s bashing his head against the Red Line again.” The flower-looking man’s island swayed.

“Now that you mention it, that whale’s forehead was covered in scars and he was bellowing up at the sky.”

“He must be suffering terribly.” I muttered. Crocus’s island swayed again.

“It’s an iron ship!”

“He must be in here to kill that whale from the inside.”

“That’s none of our business, we have an exit so let’s get out of here.” Zoro pointed out.

Suddenly, Luffy and two other people slammed into the ship. The unknowns, one blue-haired and one orange-haired with strange marks on his face, tried to shoot the whale, but Crocus took their hits with his own body.

Luffy knocked the pair out and we heard Crocus explain why Laboon, the whale, was slamming into the Red Line.

A whale and pirates...seemed unbelievable, but that’s how it was. Pirates had left Laboon there, promising to come back for him, but...fifty years is a long time.

“He doesn’t know they’re dead, does he.” I stated.

“He still thinks they’ll come back for him.” Crocus confirmed.

We left the whale and tossed the would-be whalers overboard.

Crocus continued to explain. The pirates had already left the Grand Line. They left Laboon behind to save their skins. He said he’d tried to tell Laboon, but the poor whale didn’t want to listen.

After that, I couldn’t believe-wait, it was Luffy, I could totally believe what he was doing. My new captain got into a motherfucking fight with a whale by using the  _ Going Merry _ ’s mast as a weapon.

I sighed into my hands, which my head was buried in. “Why, Captain?”

“It’s a Tie! I’m pretty tough, eh?”

Laboon’s big eyes widened.

“Our fight has yet to be settled, so we’ve gotta fight each other again. Your old friends may be dead, but I’m your new rival!”

Something like comprehension entered the whale’s eyes.

“And once my crew sails around the Grand Line, we’ll come back and see you again! And then we can fight again!”

Laboon howled and tears dripped from his eyes.

Luffy painted a shoddy image of our Jolly Roger on the whale’s forehead. “This is a symbol of our promise to fight again! Don’t go bashing your head into the rocks and erasing it!”

Clever. Give the whale a new reason to live and make him stop hurting himself.

As Usopp fixed the mast and Sanji cooked, I began Luffy’s friendship bracelet. Gold and red, just as he’d asked.

When the food was ready, I was halfway finished with the bracelet.

Nami freaked out about the compass, and Crocus sighed. “You came here without knowing anything at all?” He told us about the geomagnetic field that surrounded the Grand Line.

“To navigate the Grand Line, you’ll need a Log Pose.”

“A what?”

I took another bite of fish as Crocus explained the concept.

“So it’s a funny-looking compass?”

“It does look odd, yes.”

“Like this?” Luffy held up something.

“Yes, that’s it. Without a Log Pose it’d be impossible to navigate on this ocean. Of course, it’s hard to obtain one outside of the Grand Line.”

“I get it, but hang on, WHY DO YOU HAVE ONE?!” Nami punched Luffy.

“The weirdos from before dropped it.”

“Oh.”

“Why’d you hit me?”

“I felt like I had to.” She took the Pose from him. “So this is a Log Pose...It doesn’t have any markings on it.”

Crocus, the man with all the answers, explained how it worked. He told us that every path led to one point. “Raftel. The end of the Grand Line. The only ones ever to confirm its existence were the Pirate King and his crew. It is an island of legends.”

Usopp gasped. “Does that mean that One Piece is on that island?”

“That is the most likely theory, yes.” Crocus nodded.

“We’ll see for ourselves once we’re there.” Luffy’s confidence astounded me.

“Hey, you ate all the food!” Usopp complained.

I smirked. “Are you really surprised at this point?”

“Honestly, no.” He admitted as Sanji and Luffy broke the Log Pose and Nami kicked them into the ocean. “But I’m hungry, dangit!”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out an apple. “Here.”

“Why did you have an apple in your pocket?”

“So Luffy wouldn’t eat it.” I deadpanned.

“Fair point.”

Once everyone, including two unwanted guests, were onboard, I waved to Crocus. “Thank you for all your help!”

The man grinned. “No trouble, since you helped Laboon! Farewell!”

And off we went to Whiskey Peak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how'd I do?


	3. Chapter 3

Luffy and Usopp goofed off in the snow as Sanji shoveled. I stayed inside with Nami, since I didn’t have the urge to get frostbite.

I was almost done with Luffy’s bracelet when “Miss Wednesday” jabbed at Nami about navigating.

“Turn around, turn around!” She shrieked.

Somehow, we’d gotten turned completely around!

“I’d offer navigational help, but facts are I’m useless in the Grand Line!” I called as I helped turn the ship.

“Can’t be any worse than me!”

“All I know is how NORMAL currents work! Barely even that!”

“I guess you can be worse than me…” Nami conceded as we entered warmer weather.

Zoro woke up after the fact, only to be sent back under by Nami’s fist.

I approached the captain. “Captain, can I see your arm for a second?”

Luffy held out his right arm and I tied the gold-and-red bracelet around his wrist. “Here you go.”

“That’s awesome!” He cried. “Thanks Finn!”

An island came into view. Its inhabitants cheered as we sailed in.

I looked at Zoro. “No way this is as good as it seems.”

“Yeah, this reeks of a honey pot.” He concurred.

Nami nodded. “But off go the idiots.” She sighed.

Indeed, Usopp, Luffy, and Sanji were out there partying.

I groaned.

“Stay alert, but fake complacency.” Zoro recommended.

I ate and drank sparingly, but faked sleep after Zoro. Even if the stuff was drugged, as my form was a Nuckelavee, who poisons crops and sickens men, I was immune to poison and illness.

I followed Zoro outside. A town of bounty hunters, called Baroque Works. Interesting. A clever plan, to be sure.

As Zoro laid waste to the bounty hunters that attacked him, those that split off met me in my hybrid glory. I breathed out illness and laid them low. Fools. They fell, coughing and puking.

One snuck up behind me and slammed a sword into my upper left back. I staggered forward, cursing my overconfidence. As blood ran down my back, I was grateful I’d left my favorite jacket on the  _ Merry. _ I wouldn’t want to ruin it.

I turned and grabbed the man by the throat. “Nice. Try.” I threw him through a building.

Zoro rounded the corner and stopped dead. “What did you do to them?”

“Might wanna stay back.” I returned to human form. “I’m not sure if they’re contagious.”

“You made them sick.” Mr. 8 said in disbelief. “Monster!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Says the one trying to kill us.”

I watched as Zoro took them on, but when Miss Wednesday took Luffy hostange, I stepped in. My full glory was revealed, skinless and quadrupedal. My horse head had miasma wisping through its teeth and my long arms almost touched the ground.

I wrapped an elongated hand around Miss Wednesday’s neck and lifted her off the ground. “No you don’t.” I stared her in the eye with my empty pits, black the whole way through.

She squeaked and went limp.

I used a hoof to kick her duck in the head as Zoro used Mr. 9 as a bludgeon. He swung him into Mr. 8 and used Luffy’s stomach to bounce up and finish cutting the man down.

I returned to human form and staggered. The slash in my back was causing me to lose blood.

Zoro tore my shirt into bandages and wrapped it, then we sat down to watch the sky.

We watched the group get torn apart by infighting, then Mr. 8, no, Igaram, begged us to save the princess, who was Miss Wednesday, actually Nefertari Vivi.

He offered a substantial reward.

“How about a billion beris then?” Nami smirked, appearing from nowhere.

“Nami!”

Nami negotiated, getting no concrete reward set, and sent Zoro after the princess.

I raised an eyebrow. “Little heavy-handed, that.”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“Point to you.” I conceded.

She turned to Igaram. “So, what exactly is Baroque Works?”

Secret criminal organization, blah blah blah, ideal nation, blah blah blah.

I snorted, then winced. “What makes you think the boss will ever actually live up to his promise?”

Igaram looked dumbfounded. “You...raise a good point.”

Following the struggles, we found Luffy and Zoro fighting. “Oh my god.” I facepalmed. “Are you for real right now?”

Nami stopped the fight with two fists as I watched. Vivi explained what Baroque Works was really after: the conquest of her home country.

“I see, so you don’t have any money to spare.”

I looked at Nami and tugged her ear. “Down, girl. Not everything’s about money.”

“So, who’s the boss, anyway?” Luffy asked.

“Don’t ask! You’re better off not knowing! Baroque Works would hunt you down!”

“Yeah, leave us out of it. Someone who wants to take over a country would be incredibly dangerous.” Nami said.

“Exactly! You’d be no match for Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea!”

I facepalmed. “You just told us.” I said into my hand.

A vulture and an otter took off from a building as Nami blew her top.

From there, we woke the sleeping duo and set sail as Igaram pretended to be the princess and his ship blew up.

“Be careful not to crash your ship on the rocks near the shore. And Congratulations on your escape.” A woman’s voice rang out.

Everyone stopped moving to stare at the black-haired woman in the cowboy hat. I recognized her from a bounty poster I’d seen while on Camellia’s ship. “Demon Child” Nico Robin.

“I must tell you, Miss Wednesday, I met up with Mr. 8 just a little while ago.”

“It was you who did that to Igaram!”

“Okay, lady, we get it.” Everyone stared at me. “You like feeling superior, and you like working for the Croc. Tick Tock, the croc’s keeping you in time like a puppet on strings, Nico Robin, a little puppet just dancing how he wants you to.” I was completely improvising. “Tick tock goes the croc, who’s little helpers will be shocked, when he betrays them, tick tick to-ggrck!” An arm sprouted from my bandages and started to strangle me.

“Ignoring that little...loudmouth…” Nico Robin drawled.

“Miss All-Sunday!” Vivi gasped.

I clawed at my throat as Nico Robin bantered with the crew.

Zoro was at my side in a second. He drew his katana as Nico Robin offered us an Eternal Pose, and he cut off her pinkie.

The pinkie provides 50% of the human grip strength, so I was able to get air in my lungs at last. The Demon Child’s arm vanished and she shook her hand, sending blood onto the deck.

Luffy crushed the Eternal Pose and told her to get off of the ship. She left on a giant turtle.

I fell to my knees. “Holy shit. Zoro, you just saved my life.” I rasped. “I owe you.”

“You mouthed off to Miss All-Sunday…” Vivi gaped.

“What just happened?!” Usopp and Sanji wanted answers, and so Nami and Vivi explained.

Zoro looked at me. “You alright?”

“Well, the wound on my back’s opened up again and I’m gonna have a handprint on my neck for the next week, but I’m not dead.” I felt blood staining the makeshift bandages on my back.

I fetched bandages from the storeroom and approached Vivi and Nami. “Can one of you help me out?”

Sanji was there in a flash. “I shall, my lovely-sorry, sorry!” I’d grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. “Forgot!”

I let him go. “It honestly makes me uncomfortable when you talk like that to me. Anyway, can one of you two help me bandage my back?”

The two unwrapped my makeshift bandages. “That looks painful, Finn.”

“It’s not fun.” I admitted. “If I didn’t have three months of Marine Training, I’d be unconscious right now.”

The gash went from my left shoulder to the middle of my back. It wasn’t too deep, so my spine made it out alright, but it hurt like hell.

“This is going to scar.” Nami told me.

“Friggin’ stealthy bounty hunter.” I muttered.

Once my back was wrapped, I put on a new shirt and went to get some food.

A few days later, I finished Zoro’s friendship bracelet. Black and grey.

He had me tie it around his left wrist. My back ached, but I ignored it.

I swallowed to clear my sore throat. “How’s that?”

“Nice. Won’t get in the way or anything.”

“Good.”

“Land! I see land!” Usopp shouted.

We sailed down a river, passing trees which looked familiar. The scales on the trees almost looked like some...thing...prehistoric. Fuck. “I think we’ve just entered the land of Dinosaurs, everyone.”

“Cool!” The idiot trio cheered.

I stifled a cough. Damn sore throat. 

Luffy and Vivi went off “on an adventure” and Zoro and Sanji went hunting.

I went belowdecks to sleep. I’d been feeling poorly for the past few days, probably just my depression flaring up, and I just wanted to sleep.

Turns out, you miss a lot when you sleep.

From a giant’s honor duel to Baroque Works making another attempt at our lives, I somehow slept through it all.

We left with Giants paving the way for us, through a monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this sucks, does it?

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if this sucks.


End file.
